Romance might feel like a modern phenomenon — all heart-shaped chocolates, tik-tok worthy proposals, and carefully curated wedding videos — but the truth is far older and far more human. Across centuries and cultures, people have created rituals to express love, commitment, and partnership. These traditions have evolved, blended, and reshaped themselves, but the heart of them has always stayed the same: a desire to honour the bonds that matter most.

Ancient Beginnings: Love as Ceremony

Long before formal weddings existed, communities marked relationships with symbolic acts.

💍 Ancient Handfasting

In Celtic and Norse cultures, couples tied their hands together with ribbon or cord to symbolise unity. This is where the phrase “tying the knot” comes from. Handfasting could mark a temporary union, a trial marriage, or a lifelong commitment — a flexible, human-centred ritual that still inspires modern ceremonies.

🌿 Offerings and Blessings

In ancient Greece and Rome, couples exchanged garlands, shared wine, or offered gifts to household gods. These rituals weren’t just religious — they were social acknowledgements of partnership.

🔥 Fire and Light

Many early cultures used fire rituals to represent passion, protection, and the joining of two lives. Jumping over flames, lighting torches, or sharing a hearth were all ways of marking a commitment.

Medieval Romance: Courtly Love and Symbolism

The Middle Ages gave us some of the most enduring romantic imagery.

💌 Courtly Love

Poets and troubadours celebrated idealised love — longing, devotion, and admiration. This era gave rise to:

• love letters
• tokens of affection
• public declarations of devotion

These traditions still echo in modern proposals and wedding speeches.

💐 Flowers as Messages

Victorians later formalised this into floriography, but the idea began earlier: flowers carried meaning. A red rose meant passion, a daisy symbolised loyalty. Today’s bouquets still carry these echoes.

Renaissance to Victorian Era: Rituals Become Tradition

As societies became more structured, so did romantic rituals.

💎 Engagement Rings

The first recorded diamond engagement ring was given in 1477 by Archduke Maximilian of Austria. Diamonds weren’t yet a universal symbol — that came much later — but the idea of a ring as a promise took hold.

📜 Marriage Vows

Religious and civil ceremonies began to standardise vows, but couples often added personal touches — a tradition that has re-emerged strongly in modern Humanist ceremonies.

💌 Valentine’s Day

By the 18th and 19th centuries, Valentine’s Day had become a major romantic celebration, with handwritten notes, cards, and gifts exchanged widely. This helped cement February as a season of love and courtship.

20th Century: Romance Goes Global

The last century transformed romantic rituals more than any other.

💍 The Diamond Boom

In the mid-1900s, marketing campaigns popularised the idea that “a diamond is forever,” making diamond engagement rings the norm in many Western cultures.

💒 White Weddings

Queen Victoria’s white wedding dress in 1840 inspired a trend that became mainstream in the 20th century. Before that, brides simply wore their best dress.

🎶 Personalised Ceremonies

As society became more diverse and less bound by strict religious rules, couples began shaping ceremonies around their own values — a shift that paved the way for Humanist weddings.

Modern Romantic Rituals: Meaning Over Tradition

Today, couples are more intentional than ever. They choose rituals that reflect who they are, not just what tradition dictates.

🌿 Handfasting Revived

A beautiful nod to ancient customs, now used in Humanist and non-religious ceremonies.

🕯️ Unity Rituals

Lighting candles, blending sands, planting trees — symbolic acts that represent joining lives.

💌 Personal Vows

One of the most meaningful modern rituals, allowing couples to speak from the heart.

🌍 Cultural Blending

Interfaith and intercultural couples often weave together traditions, creating ceremonies that honour both backgrounds.

📸 Proposal Rituals

From quiet moments at home to elaborate surprises, proposals have become deeply personal — and often shared with loved ones afterwards.

Why Romantic Rituals Matter

Across thousands of years, one thing has remained constant: humans need ways to mark the moments that shape our lives.

Romantic rituals:

• create meaning
• strengthen connection
• honour commitment
• turn memories into milestones

As a Humanist Celebrant, I see every day how powerful these rituals can be. Whether ancient or modern, simple or elaborate, they help us pause, reflect, and celebrate the love that makes life richer.