Every February, the shops fill with roses, cards, chocolates and a weird assortment of cuddly toys. There is a sense of romance in the air and red hearts seem to appear everywhere. 

From Roman Rituals to Christian Saints

The roots of Valentine’s Day stretch far back into ancient Rome. One of the earliest influences was Lupercalia, a mid-February fertility festival celebrating renewal and the coming of spring. 

Later, early Christian traditions gave new meaning to this time of year. Several martyrs named Valentine appear in Christian history, but one legend stands out: a priest who secretly married couples in defiance of Roman law. Over time, stories of Saint Valentine became intertwined with themes of love, loyalty, and devotion. 

By the Middle Ages, the feast day of St Valentine was firmly set on 14th February, and poets began to associate it with romance. Chaucer and other medieval writers helped cement the idea that this was the day when birds—and humans—chose their mates. 

The Rise of Romantic Traditions

As centuries passed, Valentine’s Day evolved from a religious feast into a celebration of affection. By the Victorian era, exchanging cards, flowers, and tokens of love had become widespread. The holiday blended ancient customs, Christian symbolism, and the growing cultural fascination with romance. 

This shift laid the groundwork for Valentine’s Day to become not just a day of love, but a day of big romantic gestures.

When Did Valentine’s Day Become a Popular Time to Propose?

There isn’t a single moment in history when proposals on Valentine’s Day suddenly “began.” Instead, it grew gradually through three key influences:

The Medieval Link Between February and Courtship

Medieval literature often described February as the season when birds chose their mates. This poetic association with pairing and partnership naturally encouraged human courtship rituals too. 

Victorian Romanticism

The Victorians adored symbolism, sentimentality, and ceremony. As Valentine’s cards and gifts became popular, so did the idea of using the day to express deeper intentions—like asking for someone’s hand in marriage. The holiday’s emotional weight made it a fitting moment for life-changing declarations. 

Modern Commercial Influences

In the 20th century, Valentine’s Day became increasingly commercialised. Jewellery companies, card makers, and advertisers promoted the idea of the “perfect romantic moment,” and proposals naturally became part of that narrative. Over time, Valentine’s Day established itself as one of the most popular days of the year to get engaged.

Even today, couples choose 14th February to declare their love or propose marriage, for reasons that go far beyond tradition:

❤️ It’s a day already dedicated to love

There’s something beautifully fitting about marking a new chapter on a day that celebrates affection and connection.

❤️ It creates a shared story

A Valentine’s proposal becomes part of a couple’s personal mythology—something they’ll retell for years.

❤️ It offers a sense of occasion

Restaurants, venues, and even the atmosphere feel more romantic. The world seems to give you permission to be sentimental.

❤️ It’s symbolic of new beginnings

Just as the ancient festivals celebrated renewal, a proposal marks the start of a new life together.

A Humanist Celebrant’s Perspective

In my work, I see how deeply people value meaning, symbolism, and shared stories. Whether a couple gets engaged on Valentine’s Day or on an ordinary Tuesday, what matters most is the intention behind the moment.

But there is something undeniably special about choosing a day that has carried the spirit of love for centuries. It connects your personal story to a much older one—stretching from ancient Rome to medieval poetry and modern romance.

And that’s the beauty of human celebration: we weave our own lives into age old traditions that have survived the passage of time.